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"YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICE MAIL BOX OF XXX-XXX-XXXX. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE.

voice. text. in person.
texts and messages will go to one of three phones
1 burner phone - 1 burner phone - 1 standard issue phone registered to DoloresH4ze
NONAH, NC. #003

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

magnitudes

you? busting balls? that doesn't seem like you at all

part of me wonders why a grater
"wanker with a whisk" just doesn't have the same force, somehow

oh i think you'd appreciate "i malakía pái sinefo"
it translates to "great stupidity everywhere" but literally its kind of like wankers join the cloud or wanking becomes the cloud or something

I keep up to date with the most important shit

$nastygram: (C:\rude)$

From:

nastygram

Tbh dudes who own cheese graters are just a few unnecessary kitchen gadgets away from being TOTAL FOODIE DILLHOLES
Whisks are p common but with cheese graters it's like bro do you not know that they now sell shredded cheese by the bag

Ok but wait explain the cloud of wanking
Is this like a jizz cloud????

From:

magnitudes

or maybe they have grating personalities
that was good, don't even try to deny it
maybe a little cheesy but w/e

that's the thing, I don't even know! I mean it's not one of those linguistic nuances I could quiz my Yia Yia about
there's just this phrase about an ambient fog of wankers
a cloud of jizz is terrifying though
ten out of ten voters say worse than smog. not just because its jizz but its self important pompous jizz
ugh

$nastygram: (C:\tty)$

From:

nastygram

Omg shut the fffffuck up

[But that isn't denial so, whatever.]

So are you like ~~ finding your roots ~~ or what is this sudden greek info dump about

From:

magnitudes

nah

x2, I don't need to find my roots, they're well established
just dazzling you with my fascinating conversational skills I guess

$nastygram: (C:\forkbomb)$

From:

nastygram

Oh ok

If the word for turtle has anything to do with wanking I am going to get a Greek dictionary and shove it up your ass

Jizz clouds had better not be some weird theme

From:

magnitudes

location aside, that would be a very thoughtful gift, thanks

you started with the jizz clouds, okay, all I did was turn up with cute turtle pics. don't sweat it, cheló̱na, your spirit animal is safe.

imagine if someone had jizz clouds as a power though, jesus christ

$nastygram: (C:\net.personality)$

From:

nastygram

Adding book assplay to your fetish bingo huh???? I am so sorry I know this.

And so sorry that you made me consider jizz cloud powers. PLEASE FORGET MY NUMBER FOR REAL THIS TIME.

From:

magnitudes

only for you, babe xoxo

use your block button, you lazy bastard

$nastygram: (C:\UTSL)$

From:

nastygram

OR just stop texting me your kink shit

Babe

From:

magnitudes

is it actually kink shit when I'm saying I'm not into something?

schnookums

$nastygram: (C:\interruptslocksout)$

From:

nastygram

Sure, Jan

From:

magnitudes

marsha marsha marsha

oh, want to do shots later? Britpop and I are gonna work alphabetically through every cocktail ever made and draft our top picks
we might need help
but mostly I just want to do shots and be the target of scorn

$nastygram: (C:\itanic)$

From:

nastygram

Omg finally two things I'm into
Shots and shit talking your lame ass

Who tf is britpop

From:

magnitudes

I know how to be irresistible, what can I say.

Dorian Gray. Really likes Oasis.

$nastygram: (C:\bletch)$

From:

nastygram

Ummmm HARD PASS

From:

magnitudes

I wasn't gonna invite him to our shots sesh

mostly because then I'd have to buy more booze, admittedly

$nastygram: (C:\killerpoke)$

From:

nastygram

Oh ok at least you have SOME sense
And I change my answer to SOFT PASS.

If Britdick is still around when I get there, I'm out. And zapping the shit out of your phone before I go.