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NONAH, NC. #003

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

$nastygram: (C:\misbug)$

From:

nastygram

Wow. [Darlene looks up at the sky, either in another eyeroll, or maybe in a silent prayer for strength. Give me the power to accept dumb bitches who are acting as literal bugs atm.] Well, you got there eventually.

[A very oblique yes.]

Please be a normal person now.

From:

rathercommon

[ Tartly: ]

It would have taken me a lot less time to get there, and saved you a lot of time, if you hadn't lied to me so energetically. I don't want to be didactic, but you might take a lesson from that.

[ And, with absolutely no transformation from literal pest to figurative pest, she goes on: ]

What's it do? Get information? Who was he, that he'd have information that you'd want?

$nastygram: (C:\net.personality)$

From:

nastygram

Uh-uh, bitch.

[Hell no. Darlene stops dead. By now she has made her way to a cute sunny park. It's a weekday afternoon, so mostly the place is empty. Around the bend up ahead, a play structure rises into view. Rocketship themed.

Darlene narrows her eyes at its peak.]

You are changing back now or I'm taking a fucking Lysol bath.

From:

rathercommon

[ A pause, and then a very put-upon sigh. Then, about ten seconds later - enough time for a springy, hoppy, durable flea to descend right from Darlene's shoulder to the ground and bounce a few times - there's a flicker of magic at her feet, and a cat appears seemingly from nowhere. ]

There.

$nastygram: (C:\line666)$

From:

nastygram

[Okay, better, but. Still. Darlene narrows her eyes at the friggin cat.]

Okay, what the fuck is your deal. Are you a furry? BDD? What.

From:

rathercommon

[ Her ears flick in irritation, and her tail lashes. And she responds primly, saying: ]

Honestly, why are you so hung up on what form I take? It's not like you've ever actually seen my real face. Would you really feel that much better if I looked like I did before?

[ Which is, all right, disingenuous, a bit - after all, how she looked earlier is quite a bit closer to her actual appearance than this is. Still, she wants to needle her. Quite a lot, actually. ]

$nastygram: (C:\dontdothatthen)$

From:

nastygram

Um, [Darlene says, with a laugh--] you are so not making me want to tell you dick.

[The truth of it is, hell yes Darlene would feel better if Kitty looked the way she did before. First of all, because she wouldn't have to talk to a cat in a park like a goddamn Disney princess.

Second, because it is not fair to wear masks when she doesn't get a mask. Anon is fine, but then everyone should get to be anon. Kitty would still call her Darla, if anyone asked; Darlene has been careful as fuck not to attach her real name to her face. But she could still pick her out in a line-up, describe her to a sketch artist; she could still find Darlene, and that is shit.

And now she's learned that the face Kitty wore before wasn't her own face at all. How does that make her feel? Like a little sick. And also really pissed.]

I spill my guts and I don't even know what you look like? Fuck off.

From:

rathercommon

D'you want to know what I really look like?

[ Her tail lashes once, twice, her pupils wide, her posture tense. ]

I can show you. If you tell me what you were doing.

$nastygram: (C:\derf)$

From:

nastygram

Okay, and how'm I gonna know you're not just screwing around on me again?

[She raises her eyebrows over the tops of her sunglasses.]

Impasse, bitch.

From:

rathercommon

[ Simply: ]

You'll know.

$nastygram: (C:\FOO?)$

From:

nastygram

Wow, how cool and cryptic. UGH--

[Which is a word Darlene actually says aloud. She stomps her heel against the pavement, rolls her head back on her shoulders so she can stare up at the sky, like this is all just tooooo much. And she stays like that for a second.

Then she expels a big huge breath and stands more normally, arms folded over her chest.]

Okay. Go. Do your thing, weirdo.

From:

rathercommon

[ This is a bad idea, Kitty thinks to herself. She'll make fun of you. But so bloody what? Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that, right?

Her tail lashes back and forth a few times, hard. And then the cat takes a breath, and then there's a little breath of magic that passes through the air.

And then, standing in the cat's place, is an old woman. She's recognizably Kitty Jones if you squint a bit: the bones of her face are the same, the brightness of her eyes, the thick eyebrows. But her hair is white and her face wrinkled and age-spotted, her lips thin with age. And she's frail, too. She's thin, and weak-looking, and her back is hunched, and her age-gnarled hands shake just a little.

Her eyebrows lift; her voice twists with irony. It's still that same girlish voice. ]

There. Cool, right?

$nastygram: (C:\handwave)$

From:

nastygram

[Darlene doesn't immediately make fun of Kitty. Probably a good start. She does stare because--]

What the fuck.

[And she does laugh.]

Oh my god, you're so old.

From:

rathercommon

{ She looks away. Flatly, she responds: ]

I'm twenty, actually.

[ Then she takes a deep breath, almost physically steeling herself. ]

So there you've got it. So you owe me the truth.

$nastygram: (C:\smop)$

From:

nastygram

Whatever you say, grandma.

[There is probably more to this. It's probably some bullshit. Darlene is still going to take these next few moments to be mean because Kitty fucked with her and it feels good to be vindictive.

She gives her another once over and then shoves her sunglasses up onto her forehead. This part of the park is shady. It's way easier to see without dark glasses.]

Okay, wait, but why don't you use this all the time? I mean, shit. Old ladies can get away with anything. No one tells them off. And if they do, it's like, oh, they could die at any time, you're a goddamn monster. This is bulletproof.

From:

rathercommon

[ Her lips thin even further, and she looks back at Darlene. Her eyes are fierce and dark and alert and intent - no question that those are the eyes of a young woman. A young woman with zero chill. ]

Because I'd sooner bloody die than have someone be sweet and gentle to me 'cause they think I'm fragile. Obviously.

$nastygram: (C:\writeonlycode)$

From:

nastygram

Okay, yes. And props.

[Approval!]

But also it is so satisfying to kick douchecanoes like that in the teeth. Like I'm not saying play it up and piss yourself and lay around in a wheelchair like a total vegetable or anything, but do go out there and frustrate the assumptions of a thousand dickwads who think they're gonna take advantage of you.

Own your face and play the system, bitch.

From:

rathercommon

[ She stares at Darlene a moment, eyes slightly narrowed, and then snorts lightly. Those actually sounded like words of encouragement. Then she shakes her head, the set of her mouth dissatisfied. ]

Being pretty and young opens doors that don't get opened when you look old. No one listens to an old woman. But Kitty Jones, who's quite nice-looking and funny and bubbly and got murdered heroically in defense of America - when she says give to the poor, people listen.

[ A grimace. ]

It's fucked.

$nastygram: (C:\killerpoke)$

From:

nastygram

Hey, newsflash: everything is fucked.

[Wise words. Darlene shifts her attention to her purse, digs around inside of it until she finds her cigarettes. She continues her commentary as she sticks one in her mouth.]

Which is why I prefer to obliterate the door instead of waiting for some dickweasel to open it for me.

[Coolly, she lights up.]

From:

rathercommon

[ And Kitty offers a shrug in return. They're not too far from a bench; she goes to it, a little winded from everything, all the transformations and flying and dodging. ]

That was what I wanted for a really long time, too. So I do get it.

[ She lets loose a small sigh as she sits, and fights the urge to rub at her knees. ]

$nastygram: (C:\killerpoke)$

From:

nastygram

Oh my god, please don't start with the belabored old revolutionary act again. It was nauseating enough the first time, and I can't imagine you've added any really awesome verses to the ol' song and dance.

[She gives an irritated huff at the mere possibility and folds her arm over her body, to grip at her own hip crosswise. Cocks her hip, plants her other elbow on it. Takes a long drag, and exhales.]

Okay, so. What's your deal.

From:

rathercommon

Erm?

[ That's sudden enough that it takes her by total surprise. She blinks. ]

My deal in reference to...what? I thought you looked things up about me.

$nastygram: (C:\misbug)$

From:

nastygram

In reference to your suddenly saggy tits. To this?

[She gestures, with her cigarette, to all of Kitty. The smoke trails after, a z formation that hangs briefly in the air.]

Are you seriously like a hundred and five or is this some kind of friggin Benjamin Button thing.

From:

rathercommon

[ Actually offended - ]

My tits aren't - Ugh!

[ She pokes involuntarily at her chest. Goddammit.

She takes a breath, and braces herself. ]

Magic. I used to look like what I looked like the first time we met, but I traveled across - to the Other Place, the world of spirits. And that - [ She gestures to her face. ] Had effects on me.

[ She gestures to Darlene. ] Now you.

$nastygram: (C:\derf)$

From:

nastygram

[Um. Darlene lifts her eyebrows, pointedly, as she sucks at the end of her cigarette. She waits till Kitty concludes with that before she exhales.

First things first:]

Okay, what the hell are you talking about.